What Can I Do?
My community is made up of kind, caring people and I am quite sure the white people of my community have been asking this question as well. I am sick to my stomach, not knowing the right answers or the right things to say or do. In fact, I have sat here thinking in fear of saying the wrong thing, that I should remain silent. Now, I know I will not say everything perfectly. I just know I have to say something.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”
~ Martin Luther King
The problem is, remaining silent does not solve anything. I am uncomfortable, uneasy, hurt, angry, and sad as I know many of you are. It is time to recognize my feelings are nothing compared to the feelings of my brothers and sisters of color. It is time to quit sweeping things under the rug so that I (or you) can feel comfortable.
You see, we can have the conversations in love, kindness, and respect. It does not have to be hateful or hurtful.
To my white friends
We must be very aware of white privilege. I understand this is a trigger for a lot of you as it once was for me as well. I grew up as a minority in my neighborhood in Detroit, MI. I was bullied and tormented on several occasions. I have worked hard for everything I had and never thought I ever had anything handed to me. White privilege is not saying your life has been easy. White privilege is systemic, it’s not something I created in this world; however, we must acknowledge it exists. If you are white, you have benefited from it in some way.
White privilege to me means;
I do not have to have a conversation with my children that they need to be on heightened alert in this world.
I can find dolls, books, and toys for my children everywhere with their skin color easily.
I may have gotten a pass when confronted in a situation because I was white.
A verdict or judgment may be chosen in my favor over a person of color just because I am white.
I may have been chosen for a job over a person of color based just on skin color or possible name alone.
I do not get followed around a store thinking I may steal something.
Most importantly, I have the privilege of living in ignorance because I do not have to navigate all these things each and every day.
Brene Brown has a beautiful video here explaining white privilege and what we need to do. I totally agree with her. We need to start having uncomfortable conversations in a loving way.
Gina Hatzis also said it well in this video. It’s not time to say silent even if we do not know what the right thing is to say. It’s not anyone’s job other than my own to acknowledge my white privilege and to try to have the tough conversations in love.
I believe, as human beings, that our basic emotional needs are that we want to be heard, we want to be seen, and most importantly … we want to be loved.
To my brothers and sisters of color
I see you, I hear you, and I love you. I promise to do better.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that”
~ Martin Luther King
“A riot is the language of the unheard” speech from Martin Luther King Jr.
It’s time to shed the darkness and be the light and stop the hate and show more love!
Can we all promise to do better? Can we have tough conversations with love? Can we just listen?
I often move energy through music and love this song by the Black Eyed Peas – Where is the love